Betrayed
by DancingDragon42
Summary: After Christine and Raoul escape from Erik, Mme Giry cannot resist going to check on her old friend. However Erik is consumed by pain and betrayal and anything but happy to see her. Old feelings and scars surface as they remember their shared past.
1. Smoke and Mirrors

**Author's Note:** Hello! I have decided to rescue this story from oblivion because it deserves better. After my first shot at working with a beta failed I kind of gave up on this story, but I still love it. Therefore I have done some major rewriting, filling out spots that seemed rushed (*coughs* chapter 8). New chapters are coming soon.

This story is based off 2004 movie with maybe a bit of the Broadway show mixed in. Everything is the same up until now, which is just after Raoul leaves Mme. Giry on the staircase. Singing will be italicized and enclosed in single quotes, anything else italicized can be assumed to be within the minds of the characters (who I do not own by the way)

xxx

Chapter 1: Smoke and Mirrors

Antoinette Giry paced the landing of the stone stairway where Raoul had left her. She wished she could have gone with him, but knew that would only put her in further danger.

_You are never to tell ANYONE what you know of me, not even her!_

She could hear the running footsteps behind her, a search party would obviously be coming soon.

'_Track down this murderer he must be found!'_

No, this wasn't a search party, they had no interest in saving Christine, they were going to kill Erik. "NO!" Without thinking Antoinette cried out, her grief momentarily taking over her. "There is nothing you can do but wait and pray," she told herself firmly, attempting to regain her composure, but failing terribly. Her heart pleaded with her to go to Erik, to warn him, to do something!

_You are forbidden to ever enter my home again!_

Antoinette began to pace faster.

'_Track down this murderer he must be found!'_

The light from the group's torches began to reach around the curve of the stairwell, shortly followed by its leader.

"Meghan Giry, what on Earth do you think you are doing?!"

_Do as I have instructed and you will be safe._

"Mother, you cannot stop me, I'm not ten anymore. I am going to find my friend and that is that!" By that time, the entire mob of policemen and opera staff had caught up to her and was peeking around the stairwell, trying to get a glimpse of the confrontation.

_But disobey me and I will kill the brat and leave you to suffer!_

"Meg there are factors that you do not understand, and I cannot explain right now. You were only two, you don't remember, but you are in much greater danger than you realize!"

"He took Christine mother, I am not going to stand by and let him do that!" Setting her mouth in a firm line of determination, Meg pushed past her despairing mother and continued forward.

Once the rest of the crowd had pushed passed her, Antoinette was left, once again, alone to await news. It was likely everyone she cared about would be dead tonight. Raoul would reach Erik first. Even if he did escape Erik's expert traps, Erik would probably kill him in some other manner.

The mob would reach the lair next. With so many people, there was no possible way Erik could beat them all. He would fall to them, but not without taking a few down with him. Meg would probably be one of them. Even in the tightest situations, Erik never forgot his promises. Oddly enough, everyone was trying to save Christine, but she was the safest one. Antoinette was the only one that knew Erik was extremely unlikely to hurt Christine unless something went terribly wrong. Since everyone was on Christine's side, they might all die trying to save her, but she would probably make it. As hard as she tried to take some comfort in this, Antoinette could not relax herself. It was too much to lose at once.

xxx

Christine and Raoul heard the gate shut behind them just as the boat reached the other side of the lake. Looking back, there was nothing to be seen, the Phantom had completely disappeared. As they ascended the staircase together, the sound of the search party overhead drifted down to them.

'_Track down this murderer he must be found!'_

Christine stopped suddenly, grabbing Raoul's hand.

"Raoul, I have something strange to ask of you." He cocked his head questioningly to the side but allowed her to continue. "Please tell them that the Phantom is dead. I know its odd, he has done us so many wrongs, but I don't think he deserves to die."

"Hmm, I don't know that I can agree with you on that, but I do know that Mme. Giry would not want him dead either; leading me down here seemed to make her very upset. Perhaps there is something I do not know about this man…" Christine's eyes pleaded with him. "If you truly think so, I will do it, but we'll have to make it believable. We'll need to both have the same story." Christine nodded and motioned for him to continue. "It would be best to keep the story the same until he let me in. Then we will say that once the gate was raised I scrambled to land and engaged him in a sword fight. At first, he was winning, and he cut my left forearm. However, I backed him in into a chair, causing him to trip and I gave him a deep gash in his right arm before he managed to recover. Forced to use his non-dominant arm, the Phantom was at a disadvantage. I ran him through and he fell into the lake." He paused and looked at her for approval, "did that sound believable?"

"Yes, very well crafted Raoul. Since he 'fell into the lake,' there will be no body for them to look for. But, you didn't cut your arm..

"Oh yes.." he sighed at the flaw, "of course," said Raoul, " I guess we'd better leave that part out then, it just seemed unlikely that I would come away completely unscathed."

Christine looked her betrothed over from head to toe. His clothes were ragged; his neck red from the noose, his hands raw from clawing at it, and every inch of him was soaked. Her inventory of his injuries made her realize just how close he had come to not surviving. "You look anything but unscathed," she whispered as tears formed in her eyes. Raoul extended his arms and she stepped into his embrace, letting her tears join the lake water that already drenched them both. "I really thought I would lose you."

He held her tightly, whispering comforting words until her tears passed. When she was ready the two of them continued up the staircase, hand in hand. About halfway up, they met the search party. Upon hearing the news, the entire party congratulated them, and Meg hugged Christine. The group then turned around to go back up the staircase to where Mme. Giry waited. They would all have to stay the night on various landings and wide steps, because they could not go above until the fire was out. Everything around them was damp stone. It would be uncomfortable to sleep on, but at least it would not catch fire.

xxx

To Antoinette it seemed that the search party had been gone for hours. The entire time she waited, she paced the landing. With each pass, she reconsidered the idea of going after them, rejecting it each time.

However, if Antoinette had not been so anxious she would have realized that it had only been ten minutes since the search party's departure when the light from their torches reached her once again. As the leader rounded the corner, her heart skipped a beat. It was not Meg. Antoinette could see neither Meg nor Raoul and Christine, but everyone looked happy. What did that mean? Where was Meg?!

Antoinette watched them come up the staircase, attempting to catch a glimpse of Meg's brilliant blond hair, or the bottom of a dress swaying between all the pant legs. There was nothing.

"Mother!" Antoinette turned towards the sound. Had she really heard it or was her hopeful imagination playing tricks on her? "Mother!" She looked around again; she could not have heard the same thing wrong twice. Where was she?

When Meg finally emerged from the crowd, tears flooded Antoinette's eyes. Christine and Raoul were right behind her, both soaking wet. Running to them, she swept her daughter up in a warm embrace. A moment later she stepped back, smiling at Christine and Raoul; they would make a wonderful pair. As for Meg…

"Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again young lady! I don't care if you are ten or fifty-seven; you will _never _go down there again!" All eyes were on them now. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of her temper, but many found it entertaining to watch.

"Well mother," countered Meg, "If it makes you feel any better, we never even made it down the staircase. Raoul and Christine met us on their way back up. Christine had obviously been found, and Raoul told us he slew the Phantom, so there was nothing to do but turn around and come back." Meg crossed her arms over her chest and looked her mother in the eye with smug satisfaction, but something. All the color seemed to have completely drained from her mother's face. "Mother? Mother, are you alright?"


	2. Searching

**I still don't own the characters, not in this chapter or any other, and I am not going to say it again. **

xxx

Chapter 2: Searching

Antoinette never answered Meg's question, she could not. Her mouth had gone dry, she could not breathe, what was happening? All she could manage was a nod before she turned and strode away from them quickly. Erik was dead? No, it could not be! He was her only friend. Yes, she had co-workers, a daughter and the ballet girls, but he had been her only true friend. Somehow, tears found their way to the surface, she had not cried out of sadness in years. She had loved him once, but he had turned her out. Was it possible she still did?

Antoinette was forced to abandon her thoughts when one of the stagehands who had taken part in the search announced that Raoul had finally consented to telling the story of the Phantom's defeat. She moved to the furthest part of the large landing, trying to get out of earshot. What a horrid thing to have to hear the story of a friend's death as if it was a great triumph. In the end she did not succeed; she could hear Raoul no matter where she moved. When the story ended, Antoinette felt as if she too had been pierced through the heart and thrown into a cold lake.

Something was not quite right though. Erik should not have lost that sword fight, injured or not. Erik was skilled with a sword in either hand! Perhaps Raoul was confused as to which hand Erik had been using. Maybe Erik was not killed as she thought. Either way, she had many reasons to doubt Raoul was telling the truth, but then why would he lie about such a thing? What good would it do him to pretend that he was dead? She would have to go see for herself, but she could not do anything just yet.

It was another hour before everyone had retired and still another before Antoinette could be certain that everyone else was asleep. Picking her way around the sleeping men, she made her way towards the down staircase. She looked back once to check on Meg, Raoul, and Christine. They all slept peacefully, Raoul's arm resting protectively around Christine's shoulders. Three of the people she cared about were safe, now she had to go look for the fourth, Raoul's story had enough faults to give her hope, but reason still told her Raoul had no reason to fake Erik's death.

It took a long time to walk down the many flights of stairs, especially while trying to keep quiet. Antoinette could be very light on her feet after all those years of ballet training, but this particular pair of shoes made a great deal of noise when it hit the stone. When she reached the lake, she found the boat on the near side. This made sense, Christine and Raoul would have left it there after their return trip. However, the gate was down. Somehow, Antoinette could not believe that Christine and Raoul had shut the gate themselves, as very few people knew where the lever was. In addition, there was no reason for them to have shut it. Someone else must have shut it; someone like Erik.

Antoinette climbed into the boat and used the long pole to push off from the shore. She had never been able to stand up in the boat and move it with the pole at the same time, so she had to kneel. When they were younger, Erik always used to tease her about it. "For a ballerina," he would say, "You sure do have poor balance!" She knew that he would only ever let her steer the boat so he could laugh at her. One time she had tired of his teasing and stood up. The boat had dumped them both into the water immediately. She had not steered the boat since then. Every time she went to take the pole, he would laugh and say "I rather feel like being dry today."

A brief smile crossed Antoinette's face, but it faded quickly. Right now the slowed pace only worsened her anxiety. Upon reaching the gate, she began to feel around the bottom of the lake with the pole. As far as she knew, Antoinette was the only person Erik had told how to open the gate. It took her much longer than it used to, but she found the lever eventually. She pushed down firmly on the pole, depressing the lever, causing the gate to begin its slow ascent.

Once under the gate, Antoinette repeated the same ritual, this time to close the gate. Erik had always made sure she closed the gate behind her. Even now, she still felt compelled to do exactly as he said. Reaching the shore, she tucked the long pole into the boat and lifted herself out. No one was obviously around, but Erik was a master at hiding in the shadows. Antoinette saw no signs of a struggle, nothing displaced, no blood. Raoul must have lied, but why?

"Erik!" she called, "Erik, it's me, come out! It's your Annie, you are safe! Erik, please!" tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Please, just let me know you're alri--"

She only saw the noose for a split second before it pulled tight around her neck.

xxx


	3. Hauntings

Chapter 3: Hauntings

"Traitor," came a growl from behind her. Antoinette tried to speak but it was useless, she could hardly breathe. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you now." Erik's voice was full of rage. She had disobeyed everything he had told her to do, she hung her head. She knew there was no use in fighting him and maybe if he took her, he would leave Meg alone. It was a small hope, but the only one she had.

However, instead of tightening the noose he loosened it. "No," he said with grim satisfaction, "you'll not get off so easy. I believe that I made you a promise."

"No, please leave Meg-" Antoinette tried to plead with him, but he tightened the noose again, cutting off her airflow.

"As I was saying, I believe I made you a promise. If you disobeyed me, I would kill that brat of yours and leave you to suffer. Well, now, it seems to me that you have not only disobeyed me, but that you have betrayed me to Raoul. So, now you lose your brat and your freedom. You will be staying here with me to make sure that you cannot betray me again!"

With that, Erik shoved her forward, causing her to fall to her knees. He pulled her arms behind her and tightly secured her wrists.

Antoinette winced as the rope cut into her wrist. Erik had left the noose around her neck and although he no longer held it, it was still too tight for her to breathe. HEr head was spining but it was not from the lack of air. He was going to kill Meg. There had to be something she could do, some way that she could change his mind.

He loosened the noose and pulled it over her head. She tried to speak, but the words caught in her throat, throwing her into a fierce coughing fit. When she finally regained control, Erik was standing in front of her, glaring down.

"Erik please, leave Meg alo-" She was cut of as his hand collided sharply with the left side of her face. She could feel her cheek swelling as warm tears began to fall down the side of her face.

"You are in no position to bargain with me, _Madame,_" He spat out the last word like poison; her marriage had always caused him pain. If only he knew, what it had caused her.

"Erik, for once, just listen to me!" She closed her eyes, awaiting another blow, but it did not come. "Just think, think of all I have done for you. For all that, can't you forgive me just once? Leave Meg be, please, she's innocent. I don't care what you do with me, just please, leave Meg alone." Antoinette collapsed into sobs. If that didn't work, she didn't know what would.

Erik narrowed his eyes at the broken form in front of him. He had hardly ever seen Antoinette cry. Meg meant a lot to her, he knew it. That was why he had held that threat over her for so long. Perhaps, after all she had done, he could leave Meg alone, besides, he had little to gain from it and he risked exposing himeslf. "Very well," he said, "I will forgive you, just this once, but you stay with me, I won't have you telling anyone else things you ought not to."

xxx

_Antoinette woke up in a dim lit room. A single candle was lit in the corner, shining light on to Meg's tiny face. Where was she? Then it came back to her, they were free. She and Meg were at the Paris Opera house, far away from Nicholas. A dark shape moved from the shadows, standing over Meg. Her heart jumped. Could it be?_

"_Erik?" She whispered softly. He whorled, obviously not having noticed that she was awake. Antoinette gasped; he was the most magnificent thing she had ever seen. The man standing over her was most definitely Erik, she knew from the mask, but he had changed so much. The gangly nineteen-year-old boy he had been when she last saw him had somehow transformed, into the muscular man that stood before her. She yearned to reach out and touch him. After all these years of dreaming he was with her, could it finally be true?  
_

"_Madame," he spit the word out angrily, making her wince, she hated it too. "You dare to return here after you betrayed me so?"_

_Antoinette was stunned, for a moment, but then she remembered, he knew nothing of what happened. For his vantage point, she had simply abandoned him with out so mach as one word of goodbye. "Erik, please let me explain, I-"_

"_Explain! What is there to explain, you abandoned me and broke your promises!" He was shouting now. Meg woke up and started to cry. "Silence brat!" He turned to he raising his hand as if to strike her, only making her bawl louder._

"_Erik please, she's only two, leave her be!"_

_He turned back to her glaring angrily. "Fine, I will leave, but if you are to stay here, it will be on my terms. You are forbidden to ever enter my lair. You are never to tell ANYONE what you know of me, not even her! Do as I have instructed and you will be safe, but disobey me and I will kill the brat and leave you to suffer!" _

_With a whorl of his cape he disappeared, almost as if through the wall. Meg climbed into Antoinette's bed, still sobbing. She tried to be comforting, but could not. Tears were running down her face as well. _

"_Madame?" someone was calling her, Erik's shouting must have woken the girls. "Madame!" She couldn't go out to them now, not in her condition._

"Madame!" Antoinette sat bolt upright in the bed. She had been dreaming; Erik was the one calling her. "Madame, I cannot sleep with you making that horrid racket." He then turned on his heel, and stepped through the curtain surrounding the bed. It was a strange makeshift room that he had given her to sleep in. The bed was in the shape of a swan, covered in lovely red silk sheets. Up against the one actual wall, which was by her head, was a large armoire. She was curious as to what was in it, but her hands were still tied. The rest of the "walls", were in fact, a black lace curtain. The last time she had been down this far into the cellars was 19 years ago. Since then, Erik had made everything so opulent that you could forget that you were five stories underground. A small part of her wanted to get up and have a look around, but she decided to stay in bed instead. She had not been sleeping well for the past month, so while she had nothing else to do she wanted to get some sleep.

xxx

Erik had lied, he had not been trying to sleep for nearly two hours now. He hardly ever slept. It had simply been too much for him. Antoinette had cried out his name at least twice, and he could not stand to listen to her any longer.

It was about six in the morning now, and everyone upstairs would be waking up soon. At least a few people would probably be wondering what had happened to Antoinette. Digging through a desk drawer full of old notes, he found the most recent note he had from Antoinette. Hopefully, her handwriting had not changed much. Lighting a few extra candles on his desk, he sat down to write Meg a letter.


	4. Memorandum Morning

Chapter 4: Memorandum Morning

Meg woke up to find her mother gone and a note beside her. The paper was simply folded in half, not sealed in any way. Meg sat up and carefully opened the note. It was her mother's handwriting

_Dearest Meg,_

_The events of this night worry me greatly. I was the one who showed Raoul the way to the Phantom and he knows this. I fear for my life but you should not fear for yours, he has promised me not to hurt you unless you go down to the basement, which you must never do. I have gone to stay with an old friend in the countryside, and will return in good time. Stay with Christine if she will have you, or the other ballet girls if not. This way I will be able to find you when I return. You have grown up a great deal, I trust you to look after yourself. I love you and will miss you greatly._

_With love,_

_Your mother_

Meg closed the note with a quizzical look on her face. The Phantom was dead, what did her mother have to fear? This was all very wrong, but at this point, she hadn't the slightest idea where to look for the truth.

xxx

After delivering the note, Erik returned to his home and collect things he had bought for Christine. After last night, the whole thing was beginning to seem ridiculous. For what must have been a full hour he had lost it completely. He knew that you couldn't scare someone into love, yet there he was dragging Christine along the passageways, and threatening the man she really loved to force her to stay. He was disgusted with himself for allowing emotion to take over him so thoroughly. He knew he was only angry at being exposed publicly and that people would know how to find him again if they wanted. None of that had really been Christine's fault, and he had been too rash. So, he began to cleanse himself of reminders of this insanity, to try to put it behind him. As he took dresses from hangers and collected various baubles, he walked pas the black curtain surrounding the bed. Against his will a smile crept across his face, she was snoring.

Antoinette had always snored, and she had always been sensitive about it. He remembered her telling him when she was fourteen that the other girls teased her about it. Quietly he depressed the lever to raise the curtain. The bindings on her wrist had caused her to sleep oddly sort of propped up on her face, with her knees drawn up. She was clearly trying to take weight off her shoulder. Her face was unsettled, bringing out the wrinkles in her face. Although she was two years younger than him, she looked much older.

Some small part of him cried out that he should let her go, that he had been rash with her as well. He shouted it down; she had betrayed him to Raoul! That rebellious part of him was persistent though. _She only wanted to help Christine!_ He told himself the reasons didn't matter. _Now what do you do then?_

Now what, indeed_._ He thought. He would have to leave her tied, or else she would escape, and in reality what on earth was he going to do with her? _Let her go._ No, that was not an option she would lead others to him. _You loved her once; can you really leave her like this?_

Suddenly a whole new wave of pain washed over him, one he had been keeping at bay for years with anger. _You should at least untie her! _ Tired of being dragged to places in his mind he didn't want to be by this rebellious part of him, which he knew was his heart, he surrendered this point. However, he told himself the reason he untied her was it would be a pain to have to be always getting things for her, and he comforted himself that he could threaten her to keep her from leaving.

He walked to the other side of the bed and knelt on it so he could reach to untie her wrists. This must have woken her up, because as soon as he finished she rolled over to face him. "Erik?" she looked up and him, confused. She tried to prop herself up on her arm, but immediately fell back down and rolled onto her back with a cry of pain. "Ow," she said dryly, staring at the ceiling crossly. He knew her shoulders hurt from having her arms twisted behind her back and that her hands were burning as the blood rushed back into them, and he also knew that she was quite mad at him about it. "Are you letting me go?" she asked, still looking at the ceiling. He knew from her voice that she did not expect him to let her go, but she had to ask, just to be clear.

"No," he responded with all emotion shut out of his voice.

"And how is it that you plan to keep me here untied?" She was clarifying the terms, knowing that he would make some threat, probably against Meg. She just wanted to deny him the grandeur of announcing this threat on his own terms. Erik realized this, and a smile snuck across his face. This was why he had missed her in the first place; she was a challenge for him.

"You will remain here, or forfeit your daughter's life!" His forcefulness was diminished by the fact that she had known exactly what he would say.

"And how then do you plan to keep said daughter, or anyone else for that matter, from coming looking for me?" Now she was relying on his pride to get him to tell her his plan.

"I left her a note, in your handwriting, saying you had gone to the countryside because you feared I would make an attempt on your life for leading Raoul here," he told her confidently, "In retrospect that would have been a wise choice of action for you, why did you come he—What are you laughing at?!"

"There is a flaw in your plan _Monsieur_; everyone believes that you are dead!"

xxx


	5. Snacks, Past and Present

Chapter 5: Snacks, Past and Present

Erik stood awestruck while Antoinette shifted so she could sit cross-legged on the bed facing him. Her face settled into a smirk. Erik was completely baffled.

"Why would they think that?" He finally asked.

"Raoul told everyone he killed you. They were perfectly glad to call off the hunt." Antoinette smiled with satisfaction knowing that this particular information would annoy Erik, and he felt he had good reason. After all, Raoul had been the one who almost died. Nevertheless, Erik knew telling people he was dead was probably the best way to keep them from looking for him, and he told himself to respect the reasoning of that.

Unfortunately, now his letter made no sense, unless of course, Meg shared the note with Christine, and she told her the truth. However, there was really no way to explain why Antoinette thought he was alive, or why she had said so had she not believed it. He covered his face with his hands in frustration, causing Antoinette's smile to widen. Nothing could be done now; any attempt he made to correct his mistake would only cause suspicion. He told Antoinette this. Both of them could only hope that she would draw some conclusion that would lead her away from them.

Having exhausted his options, Erik tried to distract himself from this distress of having made such a foolish mistake. He walked around the bed and rummaged in a crate, pulling out a pouch of dried meat. Then he strode to the lake's edge and retrieved a block of cheese from the box that floated in the chilly water to keep it cool. He then looked back at her.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, holding up the food.

The question was so blatantly normal in such an unusual situation that it took her a moment to realize what he asked, and another to realize that she was hungry.

"Yes," she replied, "quite."

He motioned to a small wooden table with four mismatched yet elegant chairs around it. She shuffled her way off the bed, taking care not to put weight on her arms, and walked to sit down at the table. Erik put the meat on a plate and set the cheese on a cutting block with a knife. He then sat down next to her so they could both easily reach the food.

She cut herself a piece of cheese and bit into it. It was a hard, sharp cheese, meant to keep well. The dried meat tasted the same as it ever had, dredging up memories. She hadn't eaten it in a long time…

_Thirteen-year-old Antoinette walked quickly through the underground passageways with a robe over her nightgown and nothing on her feet but slippers. She carried a single candlestick and stores of meat and cheese for Erik. She felt guilty that she hadn't been able to sneak anything fresh today, but truthfully, with all the rehearsals today, it was a small miracle she had gotten away at all. Fortunately, everyone was so exhausted that they had fallen asleep immediately. Unfortunately, she was exhausted too._

_She reached the edge of the lake where she could see the boat waiting in the light of the candelabras on the wall. Erik had to be on this side, but he was nowhere to be found. She stood confused for a moment, but then with a sudden burst of "BOO!" Erik popped out of the shadows, startling her into throwing all the stores up in the air. _

_She glared at Erik, who was laughing hysterically now. "Oh Annie," he gasped between laughs, "you should have seen your face!"_

_She huffed and began picking the scattered parcels of food. "You're just lucky I didn't throw the__ candle__ at you! Now help me pick this up, it's your food after all!" He immediately bent down to help; he could tell she was not in a good mood._

"_Annie, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean to you, I know you're my only friend, but I get bored down here sometimes…forgive me?" The look on Antoinette's face softened and she nodded, handing him the provisions she had collected. "Are you coming across?" He asked gesturing across the lake to the home he had created for himself. She wanted to refuse because she was so exhausted, but she felt guilty that he was cooped up without company for so long, and obliged._

_Erik must have been hungry because as soon as they were across Erik opened a pouch of dried meat and sat down on the edge of his straw mattress to eat. Since he didn't have a chair at this point, they always sat either on the mattress or the steps leading up from the lake. She sat down beside him and he offered her the pouch. She was rather hungry after a long day of rehearsals, but the shriveled meat looked unappetizing, and she wanted to refuse it._

_Then the guilt kicked in again. Erik sometimes went and entire week eating only this. She reached into the bag and pulled out a large piece, determined to eat it no matter what. She ripped off a piece with her teeth, amusing herself at how the ballet mistress would scold her for unladylike behavior. It was not nearly as tough as it looked, and was very salty, which was nice after a day of sweating._

"Mmm," she remarked, "this tastes pretty good." Erik chuckled in spite of himself.

"You always liked this stuff, Antoinette, and I never understood that." A teasing smile played across his features. She was smiling too, but only because he called her by her first name for the first time in 19 years.

xxx


	6. Douleur

Chapter 6: Douleur

The next few days were exceedingly dull. Erik went to the upper levels from time to time to check on the recovery teams, although he had trouble keeping himself hidden. People where still checking for bodies or survivors and they were looking everywhere, including the typically empty passageways that Erik was used to using. This had kept him from leaving the opera house to get any sort of supplies. Fortunately, they had enough food stores for weeks as well as a fire to heat pots of water for washing. Also, Erik had managed to locate extra undergarments as well as a nightshift for Antoinette in the laundry room which had survived since it was underground. Everything was too large for her but she saw that as a blessing in disguise, because taking them in was something to fill the time.

Their conversations were infrequent, and often strained, but sometimes their old friendship broke through. Antoinette felt a deep chagrin at what they had once had but would probably never have again every time he said her name. Now her goal had to be to get him to a place where he would let her go, at least long enough to see Meg. For now, she knew he was still too angry about Christine for her to even try to touch on his deeper feelings of betrayal from all those years ago. Until he could understand why she had left all those years ago, he would never let her go.

It was after five very long days that Erik announced that he would be going out for supplies. After checking their food stores, he said, "I will of course be ordering some clothing actually your size, but is there anything else you require?"

Antoinette looked him in the eye for a moment. There were any number of things she would like to have, but the look he had about him told her he was not looking to indulge her. "A brush for my hair," was all she asked for, because his comb was really no match for her long hair.

To this he nodded in response, and then said, "I'll need your measurements then." She opened her mouth to tell him but she had been getting her dresses made in the same by the opera seamstress shop for so long she no longer remembered. "I don't know," she replied, felling a bit strange as if it was something she should know.

Erik shrugged then said, "I will have to take them for you then." He walked past her, retrieving a chord and measuring stick from lord knows where. "Hold still then," he said upon his return. She did, all the while telling herself that the electric feeling she got when his fingers brushed her, was just that she was ticklish.

xxx

That night she was dreaming the past again. _It was her sixteenth birthday, and she was standing in the wings of the empty stage. She was imagining what it would be like to finally dance with the real ballet corps instead of with the children, what it might be like to be prima one day. Suddenly she felt an arm grab her around the waist. She started; ready to scream, but a hand covered her mouth. Terror froze her in place, until a familiar voice whispered in her ear, "Happy Birthday." The arms released her and she turned to face Erik with a smile._

"_Come," he said, extending his hand, "I have a surprise for you." They went down to the cellars and crossed the lake, where he handed her a small black velvet box. She opened it slowly; inside was an elegantly simple necklace. A silver heart studded with a single tiny diamond hung from the finest silver chain. _

"_Erik it's wonderful," she gasped, "put it on for me, please?" She handed him the necklace and turned around, holding her hair out of the way. He fastened the clasp, and she admired the way the heart settled just above the neckline of her dress. She turned slowly back around, holding her spot so that they remained close together. "How does it look?" She asked, deliberately attempting to draw his attention to her breasts. _

_His eyes never left hers though when he replied, "you look beautiful." _ _A smile didn't have enough time to fully reach her lips before he was kissing them._

_She had kissed him before, but it felt different this time. There was a desire, a hunger that she felt welled up inside her, and she knew he felt it too by the way he pulled her body up against his. He kissed her neck, unlacing her overskirt as he did; she unbuttoned his shirt, running her hands over the muscles in his back. He flinched only momentarily when she pulled off his mask, and went back to kissing her, it was easier without it. He slid his hand down the front of her dress making her gasp._

_Then suddenly she was oddly struck; everything was in sharp relief. She felt utterly exposed standing there in her petticoats, and she realized just then, where this was leading. "Erik," she breathed, turning her head away so he couldn't kiss her anymore, "stop." She was firmer this time; he rested his hands at her waist, leaning back to look her in the eyes. _

"_What's wrong?" he asked softly, his eyes concerned._

"_I can't do this Erik." Her voice was soft, the other girls had said men wouldn't always take no for an answer, but she was sure Erik would. He stepped back from her, looking hurt._

"_You don't love me." He stated it like a fact, not a question. Antoinette was so startled by this conclusion, that she couldn't react before he began his accusations, "I knew it couldn't be true! You were lying!" He was in hysterics now, not giving her a chance to respond. "I knew you couldn't love me! No one could ever love this!" He pointed to his face in disgust and sat heavily on the edge of his bed. _

_Startled, Antoinette stood still for a moment. Tears were running down his cheeks and she realized she was crying too. _

"_No," she said softly sitting down beside him. He looked up at her, a billion questions in his teary eyes, "I could never lie to you. I do love you," she reached out and stroked the ruined side of his face, "all of you." The smallest of smiles crossed his face, but he still looked unsure and confused. "You have to understand that I'm younger than you, and this is a serious decision" she explained, "I'm just not ready yet."_

_She was nervous for a moment that he wouldn't believe her, but he nodded and said, "Then I will wait as long as you need. Only promise me that you do love me and you will always be here for me." The look in his eyes was serious, she knew he would hold her too it._

"_I do and I will," she promised. With that, he kissed her one last time. This time though there was no lust, only the purest love, and for a moment, she could swear she felt his spirit soar._

xxx


	7. Audacity, Veracity

Chapter 7: Audacity, Veracity

While the new supplies made meals more pleasant and meant she could brush her hair, they did little to alleviate Antoinette's boredom. Erik was doing everything in his power to avoid talking to her. She found this mildly upsetting as it made it hard for her to convince him that she wasn't a threat. To her there was no clear reason why he suddenly decided to avoid her. She had thought that since they were stuck here together he would at least try to enjoy having someone to talk to now.

However, Erik was keeping away for a reason she could not have guessed at. Every time she was near him, he felt an irrational almost carnal urge to reach out and grab her. When he was away, the memory of that feeling and how it clouded his mind scared him. What he couldn't see was that this feeling was actually his old love for her resurfacing after all these years, but twisted into an unrecognizable urge by years of anger and feelings of betrayal.

xxx

Nine days after Erik ordered her clothes, he brought them down to her. She was astonished at how fast everything had been finished but could guess that Erik knew how to make things happen on his own schedule. She took the clothes from him immediately, anxious to get out of the same dress she had been wearing for the past two weeks. With the curtain closed behind her, she laid out the three new dresses.

Two of them were ordinary daytime dresses with high collars, one dark blue, and the other maroon. The maroon one was very simple, with no adornments except for a single ruffle around the neck, hem, and sleeves. The blue was embroidered with a leaf pattern in the same color that intensified at the waist and thinned out as it traveled down the skirt. The final dress however, was much more decorated.

It was jet black and had the open neckline of an evening dress, lined with black lace. Red embroidered roses traced the hem, neckline, and sleeves, which came only to her elbow. A brilliant red satin sash traced the "V" where the bodice met the skirt and wrapped around to tie in a bow in the back. It was so beautiful that she couldn't resist putting it on now. After all, she wasn't likely to go to any events that it would be suitable for, she might as well wear it now

Antoinette quickly and gladly changed into new underclothes and pulled on the black dress. Unfortunately, like most evening dresses it buttoned up the back. When she was younger she could around to do it herself with ease, but like any dancer her joints had aged prematurely and reaching around just to button the first three hurt her arms so much that she knew she would never get all of them done. She considered putting a different dress on, but they fastened in the back as well. Ordinarily she would have asked Meg for help but without her, she would have to ask Erik.

When she asked Erik wanted to refuse, afraid to get that close to her but knew he had no good reason to refuse.

Erik used all his strength to maintain his composure, but just seeing the small amount of her skin that peeked out from her dress was driving him mad. He buttoned the dress as quickly as possible, but the sash, which he had deliberately chosen for the way it accented her hips, was his downfall. After tying it in a bow in the back, for some inexplicable reason, he couldn't resist tracing it with his finger as he walked around to face her.

"Erik?" Her voice was soft and confused, unsure whether to be happy or scared. Erik was frozen, no longer touching her but very close and still staring at the sash. When he looked up, the look in his eyes was so frightening that she took a step back. "Erik?" her voice became frantic as he continued to look at her in that oddly carnivorous way. Before she could react, he snatched her by the waist and pressed his lips to hers.

Her body wanted her to kiss him back, but her mind was angry at how he had approached her, and she stood still as stone. He broke the kiss but still held her firmly to him, a manic smile pasted across his face. Antoinette stared him in the eyes and in her most forceful voice, demanded, "Erik, let me go, _now._" She tried in vain to push him away.

He only let out a small chuckle then traced his finger along her chin and down her neck as he said in a falsely sweet voice, "Annie my dear, don't you realize that you are my captive, and I can do whatever I want with you and no one would ever know the difference." Erik continued to grin at her, while she was so affronted that she had to stare at him incredulously for a moment before slapping him across the face.

He staggered back a few paces, holding his hand to his cheek; now it was his turn to be startled. "You dare!" he shouted. The fury in his voice would have crippled a grown man, but Antoinette refused to be pushed around like this.

"I dare?" she asked incredulously, "You dare!" she hurled back, "You dare touch me like that? I am a respectable woman and _your friend!_ What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" Erik snapped back, "What's wrong with me is every person on this planet despises me. What's wrong with me is the only person I ever thought could really be my friend, _even love me_, was just stringing me along until she could leave me alone in this accursed place!"

"Is that what you think?" shouted back Antoinette, getting a bit hysterical.

"Yes, it is." He replied pointedly.

"Well you're wrong, you don't know the least bit about the true reason I left, because it wasn't even my fault!"

"Oh please," he said patronizingly, "tell me your story, how is it that it's not your fault that you left without a word to me."

"I will then," she said, her voice returning to normal. This was after all the opportunity hse had been waiting for, though this was a disturbing way to arrive at it. "but you will have to be patient."

xxx


	8. Matrimony

Chapter 8: Matrimony

He gestured overdramatically for her to start, still expecting a lie.

Antoinette glared at him for a moment to be sure he would not interrupt, then took a deep breath and began. "As you know, my family was lesser nobility by title but practically impoverished. For my father, the ballet dormitories were the kindest way to keep me looked after, and I was happy if a bit homesick."

For a brief moment, a smile came across her face as she remembered her youth, "But it couldn't last forever."

"One morning my mother came into the dormitory, all flustered. I was completely surprised just to see her, but she also had terrible news. When she told me that my father had died, I was in such shock that I hardly heard or understood anything else she said. I vaguely remember her explaining that with no inheritance for either of us I would have to marry to support us, but it did not sink in! I did not grasp what was happening until hours later, and my mother had all my stuff pcked and wisked me out the door as soon as possible.

Antoinette paused to look into Erik's eyes. She had hoped he would understand why she left and why she had not said anything, but his gaze was still cold. "You have to understand," she began again, this time more pleading, "my mother wouldn't give me two minutes alone! She didn't even give me a chance to speak to the other girls, let alone you! We were gone within an hour of her coming."

"Then why did you not come back to visit later?" Erik demanded, "your family did not live far from here!" He was shouting but it was only to cover the fear and shame of realizing that he might have mistreated her for no reason for all these years.

"It was not possible!" she retorted harshly, "and you were to let me tell the whole story." With a nod, Erik conceded this point and asked her to continue. "I never saw my childhood home again. The carriage my mother had chartered took us far out into the country, we had to stop at inns twice. As we rode my mother told me about my future husband, Nicholas Giry. He was hardly a good catch, but my mother was desperate and the Giry family had the only quality she cared about: money. The only reason they were willing to let their son marry me is they too were desperate. No woman would have had that man willingly..." Her voice drifted off as shiver creeped over her body. Her years away from the opera house had not been pleasant. She did not really want to discuss them, but the pain of loosing Erik would be much worse, so she continued.

"Nicholas was a gambler and a womanizer, constantly wasting money and embarrassing his family. His family had wealth but was trying to get power, and I was their ticket. They hoped marriage would convince him to settle down, but it was hopeless. Nicholas was just as angry about the marriage as I was, but we were both powerless to stop it. we were married within a week and living alone in a house in the middle of nowhere. So, I was alone, with nothing to entertain me but the occasional letter from an old friend. Nicholas and I never really had a conversation. At the time, it seemed that we hated each other, but really, we just took out our hatred of our situations on each other."

She sighed, the silence in that house had been stifling. Nothing to do, all alone with her thoughts and memories. She had missed Erik so much, dreaming of his touch, wishing to go home, worrying that he too was suffering alone.

Erik waited in silence as her mind wandered. The look of sadness in her eyes spoke of a much greater sadness than just loneliness. He wondered if just maybe the pain of separation had been as bad for her as it had been for him. For a moment, he dared to hope that she had loved him that much.

Just as he opened his mouth to ask what she was thinking, her face twisted into a look of disgust as she spat, "We did our duty as husband and wife, but only because his parents insisted we produce an heir. Otherwise he never would have touched me, and I would have been quite happy with that. Most of the time though Nicholas was off feeding his habits, leaving me alone for weeks at a time. I thought about running," she turned to look Erik in the eye, to hit him with the full force of her words, "I _dreamed_ of running back to you, _every time_ he left me alone. But I had to support my mother, there was no other way. So I stayed, alone."

"Eventually Meg was my savior. When she was born I spent every second of the day with her, she was the light in my life. The doctor told us I couldn't have anymore children, and from that moment his parents were itching for some reason to get rid of me. I wanted to leave of course but I still had my mother to worry about. Her health was failing, and it would have been cruel to leave her without an income. When she died, I barely mourned, I was just so glad to be free. My final ticket to freedom though, was a letter from my friend Georgiana, saying that the opera was desperate to replace the ballet mistress who had died almost three months ago. I wrote to the managers and they asked me to come immediately."

"So I ran, and I didn't worry that they would come after me; I knew I wouldn't be missed," she paused and let out a terrible sigh, "I was so happy to be back here," she said sitting down on the edge of the bed as if exhausted by her tale, " I thought," she took a deep breath trying to hold composure and turned her face away from Erik as an extra precaution, " Thought we wcould finally..." tears were brimming her eyes now, "…I would finally…" Her voice was choked by her tears and she gave up, crying silently, still in some vain hope that Erik would not notice.

It was hopeless though. Erik could she that she was crying from the heaving of her shoulders and wanted to sit down beside her, to hold her, but he couldn't move. It couldn't be true, he didn't want to believe it, but he knew it was. He had been wrong, wrong about everything, wrong in such a terrible way that it had caused such a horrid hate that he managed to ruin both their lives. She should never forgive him; he would certainly never forgive himself.

_Maybe it's not too late,_ whispered a desperate voice inside of him. He wanted it to be true, it had to be true, or else he couldn't survive this guilt. He had been so foolish, immediately assuming she betrayed him on purpose when she left. Why had he been so quick to believe she did not love him? Why had he stayed to wallow in self-hate instead of searching for the woman he loved? All the questions overwhelmed him until he had to sit down too. He put his arm around Antoinette and pulled her close to him. He could tell by the way she leaned on him that there was still hope.


	9. Undecided

Chapter 9: Undecided

It was twilight when Meg finally reached the Chagny house after visiting her third cousin Hélène in a last vain hope of discovering her mother. She was now quite certain that nothing in her mothers note could be trusted, but had no idea why her mother had lied. A servant pulled open the door, and she met Christine, who was now the Countess de Chagny, in the sitting room.

"No luck?" asked Christine.

"Not one word of her anywhere," replied Meg, "some part if not the entirety of that note was a lie."

Christine looked at Meg as if puzzled by something then let out a sigh, "Meg my dear friend, please forgive me for concealing the truth, but there's something I have to tell you." Meg just stared at Christine, all at once scared hopeful and confused. "You should sit down."

xxx

Antoinette was trying to open her eyes. In her half asleep state, she couldn't remember that well what had happened before she fell asleep, but she knew it was bad because dried tears had crusted her eyes shut. Her back was sore because whatever she had fallen asleep on was lumpy. When she rubbed her eyes she realized the lumpy object she was asleep on was Erik, and it all came flooding back to her. She froze in place, not wanting to wake Erik up. She was comfortably certain she didn't have to fear him now, but she wanted time to herself to sort out what had happened.

Gently she placed her hands on the bed and lifted herself up, being careful not to disturb Erik at all. She walked to the edge of the lake without making a sound and put some water on her face. She felt she was drowning in her own mind, struggling to overcome the strong tide of conflicting emotions.

Her heart was screaming that this was the chance she had been waiting for all these years; the chance to put it all behind her and just be with Erik. However, she knew it was no longer possible to have the man she has known when she was younger and had been dreaming of for so long. Her family had destroyed the Erik she knew; last night had certainly shown her that. Perhaps there was still a chance though. Maybe her explanation could help those old wounds to heal. Still there would be scars, perhaps too many for the old Erik to show through them. Still as small part of her protested that he had always been scarred, and she had always loved him anyway. Then again, she had not been the cause of those particular scars…

Antoinette suspected she could have continued her internal argument like this all day, but behind her Erik was stirring…

xxx

"He's WHAT?!" Christine's attempt not to upset Meg had failed miserably. Anyways, she really could not have expected the news that the phantom was still alive to sit well with anyone, especially not Meg, since her mother's life was in danger.

"Why on EARTH would you lie to me about this?" Meg shouted, "Especially when my mother is missing!" she added for emphasis. Christine found herself searching for the right words. At the time, saving the phantom's life had seemed like an excellent reason to lie, but next to the life of the woman who had raised her since she was seven, his life seemed insignificant.

"I'm sorry Meg, it just didn't seem right to let the mob kill him, if I had know something would happen to your mother, I never would have done it, I would have told the truth, I would have killed him my-"

"Shhh, Christine, relax," interrupted Meg when her friend's voice had become ridiculously frantic. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you. You did the right thing considering what you knew at the time." Christine could only nod in response. "The question is," continued Meg, "what should we do now?

xxx


	10. Leaving

Chapter 10: Leaving

"We have to go back to the Opera House," said Meg decisively.

"What good will that do?" asked Christine, "It's in ruins."

"But the fire never reached the cellars, remember?" She paused to make sure Christine understood her direction. "The Phantom will certainly be in the cellars, if he hasn't gone off to somewhere we will never find him…" She tried to continue her thoughts but a new wave of fear struck her. What if the Phantom had left the Opera house and taken her mother with him? They had absolutely no idea where he would hide!

However, she told herself it was pointless to worry about things she could not change; the Opera House was her only remaining hope. "We have to go now!" she exclaimed, suddenly feeling that he could run off any minute, and if they waited one extra second she would never see her mother again. Christine seemed unmoved. "Come on, Christine! We need to change into something more sensible than these huge dresses." Meg turned to go to the room she was using at the house, but Christine grabbed her arm. When Meg turned back, she saw the fear in her friend's eyes.

"Meg, please. You know I want to help you find your mother, but I am scared to go back there…" Meg started to say she would go by herself, but Christine stopped her. "No, you can't go by yourself, it's not safe. "

"What do we do, then?" demanded Meg desperately.

"Raoul will be back in just a few days; we will all go then, with a few men at arms, it will all be just fine." Christine's voice was strong, but Meg could still tell she was terrified. She did not know exactly what happened that night, but sometimes she heard Christine cry out in her sleep, and Meg knew that night had scarred her. She couldn't ask her best friend to go back to the place that had damaged her so much, but how could she avoid it?

xxx

Antoinette turned slowly to face Erik and the conversation she was not at all ready to have. He was sitting up on the bed, staring at her. When he realized she was looking at him now too, he looked shamefully down over his shoulder. "Now what?" asked Antoinette, since that was really all she was thinking right now.

Erik continued to stare over his shoulder for a moment, but then looked up at her suddenly as if he had a revelation. "You should go," he said abruptly. Antoinette could only stare; she had not at all been expecting him to say that. "It was wrong of me to hold you here, and you have family you must be missing."

"Erik, no, I want to talk to you now, my family can wait a few more hours."

"Please," he said, "I've been misleading myself for so long, it's going to take me a while longer to sort myself out. Meanwhile, you should go see your daughter. Just leave me here. I've done you too much harm already."

She wanted to argue, to stay and mend the damage done by the years apart, but she knew deep down she wasn't ready. She did not know how to forgive him completely, even though she was certain she still loved him. Most importantly, she did not know how to help him forgive himself.

Then there was Meg, who certainly must miss her by now. Christine was also practically her daughter as well, and she must have missed the wedding already. The thought of her not having anyone to give her away at the wedding made her sad. It was time she returned to them and gave some explanation for her lengthy disappearance. With a sigh she said, "You are right, neither of us are ready to face this yet."

He nodded solemnly in response.

"Just promise me one thing though," she said uncertainly.

"Anything," he replied, 'I owe you the world after how horrid I've been."

"Don't make it hard for me to find you again, I've already lost you too many times."

"I will remain here; Meg has been staying with Christine and Raoul at his house, so I will be able to find you." They both smiled at the thought of a new reunion, this time on better terms. "Take money from the chest under the bed so you can get a carriage and anything else you might need." This time she only nodded, and then turned and walked silently to the bed and pulled out the chest.

After retrieving the money she pulled her hair into one loose braid, then folded up her old dress with the new clothes he had gotten her, and put the brush on top of the pile. Right now these were her only possessions, everything else was probably destroyed in the fire. When she turned around from her packing he had a bag ready for her.

"I'll take you across the lake; you know the rest of the way. I haven't set any traps."

She placed her things in the bag and walked to the edge of the lake, where he helped her into the boat. He then turned back to pick up a lantern which he lit and handed to her. Carefully, he climbed into the boat and pushed it off into the lake. Antoinette sat silently holding the lantern as he navigated them across the lake. She felt she should say something, anything, but did not know what. They had both made mistakes and they knew it, but how could anything fix them? It was probably impossible to get back to what they had when they were young, but she wished they could. She could only hope he wanted to as well. When they reached the other side their goodbyes were simple, neither of them having the emotional strength for anything more. Erik got back in the boat and started back as quick as he could, afraid that if he tried to watch her go he would follow her.

Antoinette knew he had reached the other side when she was up about two flights of stairs because she could hear music. It was slow, gentle, and almost mournful. Just as she passed out of hearing distance she heard him begin to sing.

'_Where do we go from here?'_

xxx

The clock in Meg's room struck two. She had been lying awake in bed for over four hours. She had now decided that she could not make Christine go back to the Opera House, nor was it okay to wait four days for Raoul to return. Who would know what could happen between now and then? Essentially, her only option was to ask Christine to let the guard go with her in the morning. Even then, Christine would have insisted on coming because she felt guilty about keeping the secret for so long. A small part of her said she deserved it, but they were still best friends, which meant she could not let Christine go. She knew what she had to do and she had to do it now.

As quietly and as quickly as possible, she got out of bed, lit a candle in her fireplace, and slipped out her door. She descended the three flights to the laundry room where she located some maids' uniforms - which were slightly large on her - but much more practical than anything that belonged to her or to Christine. Meg put the clothes on and silently slipped out the servants' door. The night was dark, save the pale light of the crescent moon, and once she entered the stables she could see nothing beyond the small light of her candle. Holding the candle out, she looked around for a torch on the wall. When she found one, she lit it with the candle and blew the candle out. She then turned and attempted to walk to the stall where Christine kept the mare she rode, but it was still fairly dark despite the torchlight, and she tripped a few times. By the time she reached the stall, her rustling had awakened all the horses. She fastened the tack as best she could. However she was nervous that she had not gotten the saddle tight enough and it would slide off in the middle of her ride**.** Fortunately, it was not a long journey to Paris and once she got close, she could walk. Before leaving she poured water from the horse's drinking water onto the torch to extinguish it. She then led the horse out into the moonlight where she could see better to mount it. She set out at a walk so the hoof beats would not wake anyone, but once she believed she was far enough away, she urged the mare faster. There was no time to waste.

xxx


	11. Destroyed

Chapter 11: Destroyed

When Antoinette reached the main floor, she was horrified. The Opera house had been the only home she ever loved. Everything was ruined, charred, soggy, and moldy. Below ground, she had not realized the extent of the damage. When she led Raoul down the fire had not spread too far and she had never been back up after that. As she walked around she saw that nothing had been spared. The stone and metal that had not burned was black with smoke residue. Still there was one thing she hoped had survived.

Carefully she picked her way through the debris to her room. Inside it looked a lot like the rest of the opera house. Her bed and couch were completely destroyed which was too bad because they had been very comfortable. The worst thing was that her pointe shoes were all destroyed, and she had kept every pair she ever owned in this room. However, what she was searching for was much more likely to have survived the fire.

She plowed through the debris to her dresser, and found what she was looking for. Her jewelry box was only charred, so she lifted the lid off. Some of the costume jewelry had melted, but anything expensive had survived. She put the few nice things she had in her bag before lifting out the top.

She sighed in relief; it was still there. She might have forgotten it, but a dream had reminded her. Smiling, she lifted Erik's necklace from the ruined box. Attempted to rub it clean on the hem of her dress, but it would need a true polishing before it would shine. Using her sooty mirror to see, she hooked it around her neck. When she centered the heart pendant with her hand, she paused.

She spotted her wedding band in the mirror and asked herself why she still wore it. Officially she was still married, but there was no reason to wear this constant reminder. The only reminder of that marriage she wanted was Meg. With some difficulty she pulled the ring from her finger and placed it on her dresser. Then she left the room, leaving it behind.

She knew she should leave and go find Meg, but she went to the theater anyways. Although she could not practically exit through the theatre, she still felt that she needed to go there for some reason. So she navigated the debris once again to a side door to the house. When she entered the theatre tears began to fall down her cheeks. All the lights on the stage had caused it to burn completely. The curtains and wings were gone and all scenery had been reduced to ash. The shattered chandelier still rested draped over the orchestra pit. In all the filth and destruction of the room it still caught the grey light of dawn and the fire of her torch and through them back at her. It was a gleaming reminder that Erik had been the one to destroy her house and the stage that had given both her and Meg a home and happiness.

However the stage floor remained, covered in ash and rubble in places, but still calling. It was lonely; it would never hold a performance again. She was lost; she had no home. So she climbed the stairs to the stage and removed her shoes. She placed her bundle of clothes in the corner by the stairs and put her shoes and lantern next to them.

She stood in the middle of the stage and gently settled her feet into fifth position. Her knees and hips protested but she ignored them. She closed her eyes, imagining the theater was still beautiful and she was still young. Slowly, but strongly she began her favorite tondue combination. It was very basic, but graceful, and also all she could manage in her dress. Just as she completed the right side and did the rond de jambe to start to the left, she heard a door squeak open. She opened her eyes just in time to see someone fall through a side door, which was blocked with debris. The person stood up and dusted herself off.

She had on mismatched clothes; the top was too large and the bottoms too small. Her long blonde hair was tussled and dirty from her fall but still very bright. Antoinette's mouth hung open. It couldn't be Meg; the coincidence was impossible. Still, from this distance, the young woman looked exactly like her daughter. Her eyes must be playing tricks on her because she had missed her daughter for so long. However, Antoinette decided there was no harm in checking. "Meg?" she called out as loudly as she could.

The woman looked back at her suddenly and Antoinette knew it was Meg. "Mother?" Meg called back incredulously. She stared for a moment but as soon as she was certain it was her mother, Meg practically sprinted up the aisle to the stage. As soon as she reached her she threw her arms around her mother in a crushing hug.

"Where have you been?!" demanded Meg as soon as she broke the hug.

Antoinette sighed; she was not looking forward to trying to explain everything to her daughter. However, she knew the truth was the best thing to tell her. "Here," she replied simply.

"What?! Why? What about your note? Christine told me he was still alive, but still how–"

"I think it's best I explain once everyone is all together. It is a long story"

xxx


	12. Thoughts

**Author's Note: ** Finally a new chapter! My creative juices have begun to flow again; in fact they've begun to overflow with ideas for side-stories and possibly a prequel (I can't possibly fit all my back-story into my flashbacks, but I wish I could)

Reviews would be lovely, especially comments on what you think of the EG pairing. It's a little uncommon, but I like giving Erik someone who can compete with him mentally without being out of character.

xxx

Chapter 12: Thoughts

Meg Giry was in shock. Just a few hours ago she had left the house expecting to have to rescue her mother from the clutches of a horrible monster, or worse. Instead she had found her mother standing in the middle of the stage, completely unscathed. Then, with hardly any explanation, she had ordered a carriage to take them back to the Chagny house and paid for it with money Meg could only guess at the origin of.

The two women now sat side by side in the closed carriage. Antoinette had hardly said anything since she had declared that she would not explain herself until everyone was together. Meg looked carefully at her mother as she stared straight forward. She looked terribly exhausted and possibly troubled, but Antoinette had always been difficult to read. The only emotion Meg had ever seen her mother really express was her love for her and Christine. Beyond that motherly love she kept her other emotions quite distant. Still, Meg was sure something was troubling her if she was being so quiet after such a long time apart.

Finally Meg had to ask, "Are you sure you're alright mother? Did the Phantom hurt you?"

Startled from her thoughts, Antoinette jumped a bit before regaining composure and turning to face her daughter. She the gave a simple reply, "I am fine." It was only really a true answer to the first question but she expected Meg would take it as an answer to both. While, in reality, Erik had hurt her emotionally and physically during her stay, she did not think Meg needed to know that. Meg would never be able to understand how she still loved him despite all that he had done; she barely understood it herself.

Silence fell on the carriage once more. By the time they were halfway to the house, Meg could hardly stand it. In a last ditch attempt she blurted out, "Christine and Raoul have already married you know!"

Antoinette only replied distantly; "Oh, it's too bad I missed the wedding." She was ready to let her mind drift back into thought, but she realized Meg was trying to create conversation. She wanted to just sit and contemplate the occurrences of the last few weeks but she felt guilty ignoring her daughter when they had been apart for so long. So she spoke again, this time with more enthusiasm "It most have been beautiful, tell me about it."

That worked just as Antoinette had intended. Meg immediately launched into a vivid description of everything, from the flowers to the place settings, which lasted them the rest of the trip.

xxx

Hours of music had done very little to untangle Erik's thoughts. Frustrated, he got up from his organ and began to pace. He had nineteen years of misplace hatred to escape from, and that would not be easy. While his mind had grasped Antoinette's story, his hatred of her had been burned deep into his soul. For years he had fed on that rage, let it fuel his every action. In his mind, her departure all those years ago had only proved what he always believed; that no one could ever love him.

He sat down and put his head in his hands. All his years of cynicism made it difficult to face the truth; he was loved, he had simply refused to see it. A thousand questions came to his mind. Why had he never looked for the reason for her departure? _Why, when she had never let him down before, had he immediately assumed betray? What if he had only looked for her as soon as he knew she had gone? _All their misery might have been averted.

"Dammit!" He slammed his fist down on the table, "I am a fool!" It was probably to late now. He had done such horrible things; the shame was crushing. She had every right to fear him and never want to see him again. It seemed impossible that she would ever return.

But there was a flash of hope, her last request. _"Don't make it hard for me to find you again, I've already lost you too many times."_ Perhaps she would return, but all he could do was wait.

xxx


End file.
